Um...

So as you may or may not know, I am employed in the health care industry. I've worked in the administrative or patient service side of health care for coming on about 7 years now, following a decision to leave the computer world of networking and technical services behind. It didn't take long for me to learn that, just as it was in the computer world, the healthcare industry is saturated with funny stories and quotes. In the spirit of this blog discussing issues revolving around writing and reading, I'm going to share some of the funny things I've encountered in written messages between patients and their physicians over the last few years,

So without further ado, here are the quotes, questions and comments that have left me dumbfounded or smiling.

[Moment 1]
Patient: "How long does it take for marijuana to get out of your system?"
Me: "um..."

[Moment 2]
Patient: "I took my wife's birth control. What is going to happen?"
Physician Response: 'Well Mr. _______ you won't be getting pregnant."

[Moment 3]
Me: So let me get this right. You want Dr. ______ to write you a letter for work clearing you of TB (Tuberculosis), but you haven't been TB-skin tested nor have you had a TB chest x-ray in over 2 years?
Patient: "Well when you say it like that, you make it sound bad."

[Moment 4]
Patient: "I need to know what to do. I got bit on my nose by a Bee."
Me: "I'm sorry, did you say the bee 'bit' you?'
Patient: "Yes, it bit me on my nose."
Me: "um..."

[Moment 5]
Physician's Order Reads: "OB wants Neurology to clear the patient before delivery of her child"
Me: "um...What if they say no?"

[Moment 6]
Patient: "I'd like to know if my doctor can give me an antibiotic for the camel flu."
Me: "Camel Flu?"
Patient: "Yes."
Me: "um..."