Wednesday, February 24, 2010


So, as promised, I told everyone I'd post the dirty details of the wedding. I'd like to preface by stating that the most important thing of the whole event DID happen: I married the love of my life. Now on to the fun part. My wedding felt like the very strands of fate were woven against it. If things could go wrong, they went wrong. This is a small list of some of the things that did not go well....there is more, but some of it I won't mention to protect the innocent LOL. All I can say is, if the old phrase "weddings that go wrong just mean that the marriage will be great," is true, then my marriage is going to be Freaking Fantabulous!

1. Wedding invitations were designed without saying "Marriage or wedding" or anything of the likes.
2. Wedding invitations never got to people. 80ish of them are still MIA at this point. Nobody knows what happened to them.
3. Friend who was going to throw bachelor party found out his dad got into a terrible car accident, broke nearly every bone in his body and was in a coma. Needless to say, he isn't throwing any parties, nor attending the wedding.
4. Best man couldn't get rental car, because his "temporary" license wasn't considered legitimate per the car rental company.
5. Father-in-Law, who was going to rent a 7 seater car for us to pickup family and such, couldn't get his own rental car due to a problem with his own license. His rental car was delayed for 2 days.
6. Mother-in-law became ill on Thursday and was taken to urgent care where she was promptly diagnosed with pneumonia.
7. When the flowers arrived, we forgot the ribbon, flower wires & pins for corsages and boutonniere, went to store to buy more, bought the wrong supplies. Wasn't enough time to get all the appropriate stuff, so we had to rig it with the ghetto stuff.
8. Mother-in-law got worse on Friday had to go to ER and was admitted, looking quite blue in the face due to lack of oxygen.
9. Mother-in-law's laptop was going to play ceremony music, but was left in her hotel room while she was in hospital
I Had to scramble to reload my laptop with ceremony music and inform my wife's cousin that he would be playing it for us (had to show him what to do, the day of the wedding...WHILE people were being seated)
10. Morning of the wedding, during a last minute run to the store for some missing items, I almost T-boned a truck due to the RAIN... yep, it was raining. Did I mention our wedding was supposed to be outside?
11. Both bride and groom forgot to bring the guest book
12. Both bride and groom forgot to bring the video camera, which had been purchased for the purpose of taping the event
13. The hotel's sound system for the wedding had a TON of feedback and was not working, up till 3pm. (the time of the ceremony)
14. Father-in-law arrived to the hotel promptly 10 minutes till the ceremony began, with the boys and her uncle.... Not a single one of them was dressed in their tuxes.
15. Father-in-law realized he left the camera man's camera at home. He had to go home to get it. The ceremony was delayed by about 45 minutes.
16. Due to last minute seating issues from the rain, nobody knew where to sit, or where to stand and our wedding coordinator threw in the towel... she lost all hope and was obviously upset with everything, thereby stressing us out.
17. Both mother's forgot to light the unity candle after being walked to their seats... I had to come down and remind them. :)
18. During the unity candle portion of the ceremony, my wife's wick wouldn't light... Eventually we gave up without it lighting.
19. After our grand entrance to the reception hall, nobody knew what to do because our wedding coordinator didn't fill us in or work with out DJ. She apparently upset our DJ.
20. We found out that all the music provided to the DJ, in advance, was not working.... the DJ had to stay up til 1am the night before to download all the songs, or re-purchase them,
21. The wedding certificate was placed somewhere after it was signed and was moved.... It was lost..
22. My blood sugar dropped by the time my wife and I got to our wedding room. I'm sure you can guess how that ruins the next part of the evening.
23. Next day, the wedding certificate was found, along with the party favors that had been forgotten under a table somewhere
. . .


Susan Quinn said...

Those are some DARN FINE stories to be telling the kids! AND you survived. And most importantly...#21 was fixed by #23. So, all good.

Congrats again!

Lydia Sharp said...

Oh my. And I thought MY wedding day was a train wreck. You topped it.


Our honeymoon story has yet to be topped by anyone. I'll spare you and not go into details here. It does make for fun conversation now, though... after the fact.

Jonathon Arntson said...

I was definitely not laughing the whole time. Nope, not one peep.

Glad to have ya back, dude, and with a future chapter in hand.

Charles Gramlich said...

And yet, despite all, you're still married. Strange how that happened. :)

Voidwalker said...

Hah, yes. Thanks everyone for the warm wishes through it all. It was quite the adventure. I can only hope our honeymoon cruise DOESN'T top it!

And yes, Charles, it all worked out in the end! YAY.

Bane of Anubis said...

Looks like you've gotten all your bad luck out of the way :)

Stephanie Thornton said...

Heavens to Betsy!

But now it's over and you're MARRIED! Congrats!

Candice said...

Sometimes it's easy to see why people elope! Talk about a series of unfortunate events. Thank goodness there was a happy ending.

Julie said...

I know I'm a bit late at posting, but....
1. No one seemed to notice our guest book and therefore we ended up with about six signatures.

2. Someone, instead of giving us a card, returned their wedding invitation in our card box.

3. Two guys I work with went to the wrong wedding and had to find someone to remove their cards from the wrong card box.

4. Our dj mixed up the best man and groomsman and no one understood when the wrong guy walked out.

5. Our dj just plain sucked. He played the same song at least 3 times, I had to ask him to stop playing country music because it wasn't a hoedown, and I had to find him each time a certain event of the evening was supposed to happen.

It never turns out the way you plan it, but in the end, those are the things you can look back on and laugh about. :)

Sara McClung ♥ said...

LOL OMG. At least the BEST part happened :-)

And everything on that list (well, minus the pneumonia and car wrecks) wil be really funny to tell some day!