My bride-to-be and I met with our officiant yesterday evening to discuss the ceremony details. We are having a traditional non-denominational Christian wedding, in which vows are said, rings are exchanged, a unity candle is lit and the big kiss seals the deal. So, as we discussed the options for vows, we were hit with the option of writing our own vows.
ME!? Write the vows?
Why was I so nervous about it, after all I am a writer? It's not like I don't have hundreds of pages of written work that I hope to have published some day. Haven't I entered contests for short stories and poetry? Shouldn't writing these vows be a simple act? Heck, I could even invite a few agents to the wedding and tactfully wink at them claiming "I will now read the vows I wrote," in hopes of landing a deal for my next novel.
Uh, no. Try again.
I realize that we, as writers, all (well most of us anyway) have a concern about letting other people read our writing. After all our sweat, blood and tears are put into those words, it can be devastating to hear that someone didn't like our masterpiece. [I mean, c'mon we ARE legends in our own minds.] I found that this translated to why I didn't want to write my own vows. I'm afraid to let people hear my writing. I know that this is a difficult task for so many writers and in my own life, I will have to get over it. I have still decided not to write my own vows, not just because I have reservations about letting people hear my works, but also because quite frankly the traditional vows are REALLY good. They encompass what I want to say anyway.
HOWEVER
In my attempt to break out of my shell and share a bit, I'm going to post an email that I sent to my bride-to-be. This isn't quite "Vows," but it does give a bit of insight into how I feel and helps me let go of my insecurities of being critiqued. This blog has helped me do this quite a bit as I've been able to post all sorts of things I've written. So, without further ado, here's my love letter:
P.S. I did write the first part of this "cheesy" on purpose.
Dear Bride-to-be,
It's come to my attention that you intend to marry me. I think that's fantastic! In fact, I'm so very excited about the idea, that I've already gone out and ordered a tuxedo and invited 75 of our closest family and friends to come celebrate the event with us. I'd love nothing more than to see you walk up that aisle to me, take my hand, and jointly declare before God and Family that our love will ensue through this lifetime. I've taken the liberty to prepare my heart and mind, sanctifying it for you and you alone. You are my one, you are my only, you are my love. I vow to protect you, cherish you, teach you, love you and be true to you as we walk hand in hand together after God. Your love is precious to me and I will hold it like a porcelain doll, with gentleness and care. I will do my best to serve you and make you proud to be my wife. I'm so happy you've chosen me and I will strive to make sure you are always happy to have made that choice in me. I love you more than the stars in the sky.
Your husband to be,
Voidwalker
What about you? Did any of you writers, write your own vows? Did you find it harder or easier than some of your traditional writing? Care to share?
10 comments:
I felt the same way as you! Definitely couldn't face up to writing my own vows. But, as you said, much of what's already out there is worded just fine. Besides, like my husband and I told each other, we already know how we feel--there's no need to agonize over putting it perfectly into our own words. Your actions speak for themselves!
Congratulations, and best wishes.
Lana and I wrote our own vows. I don't recall them precisely but I've got them saved on my home computer. I'll have to see if I can dig them up.
These sound pretty honest!
I didn't write my own vows but I always find it noble for those who do. I think your letter is beautiful.
Winged Writer
I'm so glad my husband and I didn't write vows. I think the anxiety would have killed me before the wedding. :) Yours are beautiful though!
Sometimes it's easier to be other people than yourself as a writer. Digging up the emotions sometimes can be hard. But, if you stick with it it's amazing what you can come up with. Void, marriage has it's highs and lows just as writing. I hope you have a brillant journey... ;)
Personally...I think you should. You will nail it (as your letter proves)...and it will be memorable!
I don't know what to add to what has already been said beyond-If its from your own heart that will ring true enough.
You had me until you said "teach me". Yes I agree I have learned a lot of things from my husband in 13 years but to phrase it "teach me" the sixteen year old in me wants to rebel.
I envy you Void. Those days before the wedding and the months after, you will be high as a kite. Don't let life bring you back down to earth. Enjoy the bliss.
Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I've been pretty set on using the traditional vows and I'll probably be keeping it that way to lower any anxiety from her or my mind.
GWOE: As for the teaching part, there are things she's interested in learning about biblical Judaeic and Christian history that I've been sharing with her. That was what I referenced when I said "teach." Hopefully that makes more sense.
That I get. I'm from the south where a lot of men control their women and I get all in ruff at certain words, especially when words like "Obey" are spoken from one side. Which I had removed from our vows. Sorry if I came off too rebellious.
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